The real reason you get pushback on your ideas
And 8 simple ways to change that
In 2013, Jamie Siminoff went on Shark Tank to pitch his Wi-Fi video doorbell startup — and got rejected.
It was a billion-dollar idea. (In fact, he went on to sell DoorBot (Ring) to Amazon for $1.1 billion).
But what turned the Sharks off was his delivery.
Body language expert Vanessa Van Edwards explains what happened:
I see many deep tech and impact founders make the same fatal mistake Jamie did when they communicate.
They think that having world-changing technology is enough. But here’s an uncomfortable truth: when you pitch or present, your delivery is more important than the content.
Do you speak too fast? Mumble? Avoid eye contact? Cross your arms? Stand rigidly?
These things matter more than you realize.
Because at a subconscious level, they keep others from being receptive to your ideas. And you need that buy-in to enroll people in your vision.
Luckily, it doesn’t take Steve Jobs-like charisma. Research by Susan Fiske shows that what you really need is just two traits: warmth and competence.
The tricky part is: you need both of them, and you need to get the balance right.
Plenty of warmth, but not enough competence? People will trust you, but they won’t believe you can actually deliver.
Highly competent but lacking warmth? People will respect you, but they won’t trust you.
If you’re consistently getting push-back on your ideas, figure out which trait you need to dial up and make some simple adjustments:
To show more warmth:
Eye contact and head tilts = engagement
Nodding = active listening
Genuine, slow-forming smiles (with eyes)
Appropriate touch (handshakes, high fives, fist bumps, pats on the back)
Mirroring: Subtly matching the other person’s body position and speech patterns
To show more competence:
Adopt a “launch stance:” Stand tall, feet shoulder width apart, toes pointing out
Cite facts and statistics to demonstrate authority
Show your hands: count with your fingers, use gestures to illustrate growth, size, cooperation, etc.
These might seem cliché or trivial, but they hugely affect your impact. Because when you strike the right balance of warmth and competence, you:
Create psychological safety and connection
Build trust and receptivity to your ideas
Shift people’s brains from fear to social bonding
And that, dear founders, is the perfect recipe for buy-in.
Still skeptical? A study from MIT’s Human Dynamics Lab tracked behavioral cues during entrepreneurs’ pitch sessions to business executives — just the cues, not the actual content — and predicted the results with nearly perfect accuracy.
So while the executives believed they were evaluating pitches based on rational criteria like market fit and plan development, their decisions were unconsciously influenced by social signals that revealed the confidence and conviction of the presenter. (When a group of angel investors reviewed the same pitches on paper — i.e. just the information — they ranked them very differently.)
Too many innovative technologies have realized only a fraction of their potential because founders weren’t able to powerfully communicate the value. Don’t let yours be one of them.
Love,
Renita
p.s. Getting this balance right isn’t easy but that’s what we’ll be practicing in the next cohort of The High-EQ Founder program. If you want to be one of the first to apply when doors open, sign up for the waiting list here.