You decide who rides the donkey
How to filter the noise, own your decisions and lead with conviction.
A man and his son were heading to market with their donkey.
As they walked along, someone called out: “Idiots, why aren’t you riding the donkey? That’s what it’s for!”
The father, eager to avoid judgment, told his son to hop on. Problem solved, right? Not so fast. When a group of men saw this, they heckled them: “Look at that spoiled kid, making his father walk while he rides.”
So the father switched again. “You walk; I’ll ride this time,” he said to his son. But before long, two women scolded him, “What kind of parent makes their child walk while they ride in comfort? Shameful.”
Feeling stuck, the father pulled his son up on the donkey with him. Surely now everyone would approve. But as they entered the town, people laughed at them, “Look at those two fools! They’re crushing that poor donkey under their weight!”
Paralyzed by opinions, the father panicked and decided on an extreme fix: tying the donkey to a pole and carrying it themselves.
As they staggered across the bridge, the donkey, terrified, struggled free, fell into the river and drowned.
What does this have to do with you?
Well, if you’re a founder, these “man and donkey” dynamics probably feel familiar.
Take the case of a deep tech startup CEO whose board thought they should shift focus away from pilots to end-use applications. The board’s logic? Get some short-term wins with niche, customized solutions. The CEO, on the other hand, believed pilots would be more scalable and deliver more impact in the long-term.
Here’s what I told him: “Of course, you want to be open to the opinions of others but, ultimately, you decide who rides the donkey.”
The best leaders don’t get stuck trying to make everyone happy. They listen, sure, but they run everything through a filter: Does this align with our long-term goals?
Once they’ve made the call, they own it and commit.
But how do you build conviction around your decision in the face of pushback and uncertainty?
Well, first, let go of the idea that you need 100% certainty. Instead, aim for 70-80% conviction.
Here’s a framework for getting there:
Identify your assumptions. What key data or expectations are driving your decision?
Define your criteria. How are you evaluating options? What’s most important—user feedback, scalability, speed?
Calculate the risks and assign probabilities. What could go wrong, and how likely is it?
Ask your intuition. What’s your gut telling you after weighing the facts?
Set a time frame. 30 days, 90 days—decide when you’ll reevaluate to course-correct if needed.
Want to see conviction in action?
In 2023, Sophie Cahen, CEO of Ganymed Robotics, decided it was time to bring their prototype to the world’s largest orthopedic surgery conference, taking place in Las Vegas.
Her R&D team worried it would disrupt the product roadmap. The board thought the prototype wasn’t ready.
But after evaluating all the factors, Sophie made the call. Find out what happened here:
And listen to the whole conversation here.
What about you — what’s the hardest part about making decisions as a founder?
Love,
Renita
When you’re ready, here are two ways I can help:
👉🏻 The High-EQ Founder, a cohort course where you can turbo-charge your leadership skills in 5 weeks. Sign up for the waitlist here.
👉🏻 1:1 Founder Coaching. Schedule a call to get acquainted here and let's see if we're a good fit.